Anger Management

We explore what anger really is, how it escalates, and why assertiveness beats aggression. Practical tools, health risks, and real-world de-escalation tactics help you protect your peace and your future.

• clear definition of anger and common triggers
• passive vs aggressive vs assertive responses
• the escalation, explosion, and post-explosion cycle
• early warning cues and the anger meter
• de-escalation tactics and time-outs
• health risks from chronic anger and stress
• the role of ego, image, and environment
• using anger for motivation and problem-solving
• humor as a safe diffuser when appropriate
• planning relaxation and building support

If you do need some professional help, I have some resources in the links down below. So go ahead and click on those if you need some resources on anger management
For merchandise: there is a link beneath us as well
Call us at 385-202-3620

Anger often arrives fast and messy, but beneath the heat sits a clear pattern you can learn to navigate. We start by naming what anger is: a normal emotion ranging from mild irritation to rage, often triggered by perceived harm, frustration, or loss of control. From there, the response paths split. Passive behavior buries needs and avoids decisions, breeding resentment and confusion. Aggressive behavior pushes past boundaries with threats or harm, damaging trust and safety. Assertiveness stands in the middle, where you protect your rights and express needs directly and respectfully. Understanding these modes is the first practical step: it lets you see options in the moment instead of defaulting to impulse or silence.

Anger rarely goes from calm to catastrophe without warning. The escalation phase brings signals across your body and mind: tight muscles, racing thoughts, clenched jaw, hostile self-talk, and a rush of urgency. If ignored, the explosion phase follows, where anger converts to action—verbal attacks, slamming doors, reckless driving, or worse. Afterward comes the post-explosion phase—a tangle of consequences like guilt, strained bonds, or legal and financial fallout. The goal of anger management is simple and demanding: prevent anger from reaching explosion by recognizing cues early and choosing a different move. This is where a simple “anger meter” helps. Rate your state from 0 to 10. If you’re rising past 4, it’s time to step back, breathe, and switch scenes before the next wave crests.

De-escalation is a skill, not a slogan. Start by spotting triggers: specific people, topics, times of day, environments, or internal states like hunger, fatigue, or stress. Then pair triggers with pre-planned exits—ten slow breaths, a short walk, a pause phrase, or a boundary statement. Replace aggressive language with assertive scripts that state facts, feelings, needs, and requests. If you can’t talk it out, time out. Movement helps discharge adrenaline; music, hydration, and light snacks also nudge your nervous system toward calm. For stubborn patterns, bring in allies: a coach, therapist, or trusted friend who can reflect your blind spots and rehearse responses with you until they feel natural under pressure.

Unmanaged anger taxes the body. Elevated blood pressure, headaches, jaw clenching, stomach distress, sleep disruption, high cholesterol, and weakened immunity can pile up, increasing risk for heart disease, stroke, and chronic pain. Anger can also derail careers and relationships throu

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Topic Framing
• 0:18 Defining Anger Clearly
• 0:55 Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
• 2:04 The Anger Cycle Explained
• 3:26 Preventing Escalation In Practice
• 5:16 Health Risks Of Chronic Anger
• 6:18 Real-Life De-escalation Tactics
• 8:09 Ego, Image, And Choosing To Walk Away
• 9:26 Ten Surprising Facts About Anger
• 19:24 Coping, Maturity, And Moving On
• 21:57 Thanks, Resources, And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Wherever you are and however you are listening. Welcome to Fruit Blenders Podcast. On today's episode, we will be discussing anger management. First of all, let's start with anger. What does anger even mean? Anger is a feeling or emotion that can range from mild irritation to intense annoyance to rage. It may be a natural response when possible harm is anticipated or when another person has done something wrong or harmful to you. Anger management or anger. There's two sides that come with that. Actually, let's make it three, because I know a few. There's one called passive behavior, and that's when angry individuals may respond with passive behavior. Passive behavior usually means that opinions, feelings, and wants are withheld or expressed indirectly. Responsibilities and decision making are avoided, as is the need to take a personal stand on matters of importance. Aggressive behavior. When angry individuals may respond with aggressive behavior, aggression can cause harm to another person or property. Aggressive behavior can include verbal abuse, threats, or violent acts. Assertive behavior. When angry individuals may respond with assertive behavior, assertiveness allows individuals to stand up for the rights, their rights, and express their feelings, thoughts, and beliefs in direct, honest, and appropriate ways. Now, let's take that cycle, that aggression cycle, and turn it into facts that comes from anger. Number one, the escalation phase. During the escalation phase, anger is building. Cues or warnings, signs that indicate that anger is building include physical sensations, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Number two, the explosion phase. During the explosion phase, anger is released in the form of verbal or physical aggression. Number three, the post explosion phase. The post explosion phase allows and it involves the negative custom that have resulted from the behavior that occurred during the explosion phase. Now, let's sit back and relax and think about what anger management or anger really is. Managing anger effectively means preventing the anger from reaching the explosion. This can be done through, let me tell you, increased awareness of what triggers the anger. So figure out what caused it. Attending to the cues or warning signs that indicate that the anger is building. So basically recognize what the issue is and how it started before it explodes. So de-escalate the situation. Using an anger meter to monitor anger, levels with zero being completely calm and ten being out of control. Basically, monitor your anger and control it. Have access to it to control it. Okay, being assertive instead of aggressive. Talk to them, calm down, talk to yourself. Like, why is this happening and how did it start? Learning about and using other tools to stop and reserve the escalation of anger. So learn about the situation or the problem. Figure out the solution. Okay? Talking to helpful coaches, find professional help, find some life coaches, personal people in your life, a family, a friend, peers, anybody. Who has been through the same phase as you, same situation as you. Why should I manage my anger? Let's all ask ourselves that question. Why should we? You know, why? I mean, anger, especially chronic or long-lasting anger, can lead to physical health problems. Yes, that's very true. When you are angry all the time, your blood pressure goes high, headaches, chronic pain, heart disease, muscle pain, and joint problems, dental problems due to jaw clutching and grinding, grinding, you know, great like grinding. So if you're a person who just likes to, you know, you know, when you're angry, you're just grunting and you're just you know groaning and you're just mad and you're angry. You can't, you're not trying to you can't let it out, just scream, okay? Because angers can also cause high cholesterol, immune system disorders, stomach and digestive system problems, and even early death. Did y'all just hear that? I said anger can also lead to death. Anger can also lead to frequent arguments, physical injury to self or others, domestic violence, child abuse, pet abuse, poor thinking and decision making, work problems, so in your work environment, with your coworkers, lost promotions, being fired, legal and money problems, jail or prison time, road rage and traffic tickets, hurt or ruined problems, relationships, and divorce. So if you're at a stage where you can't control your anger, that means you have a serious problem. And the best thing to do is de-escalate the situation, walk away from it. When you're angry, go for a walk, go for a drive, go get your favorite food, go see your favorite movie, do something that makes you happy and forget about what just happened. Walk away from that scene, it's not worth it. And if somebody wants to fight you or confront you, just let them know hey, I don't want no issues, I don't want no problems. You be on your way, I'll be on my way, because we could both end up somewhere bad, just somewhere terrible, somewhere dark. Either death, in prison or jail, or we can lose everything. And ain't nobody got time for that. Ain't nobody got time for that. So if you're out there having angry issues and you because sometimes, let's just hold up, hold up, let's just pause. A lot of people are driven by ego and image, and um, you know, their title, what they claim to be, or whatnot, and it's not worth it. I don't care what you are or who you are. I'm gonna walk away from the situation. I don't want no problems. I don't want no problems. Nobody does. Who wants a problem where it can end us both in a terrible way? Like, come on, this is life we're talking about. You can't play with your life. That's a suicide note. That's a you know, that's a death tag. So it's best for everyone, whoever, and whomever is going through anger management issues, to get professional help, or just do the things that make you happy, the things that you love to do. Go buy a new pet or something, go buy a new object, just a video game or anything. That's the way to avoid anger management and comfort, and you know, uh, when you get to arguments and um fights and um you know confrontation, just walk away from all that. Let's talk about unexpected facts about anger that will impress you. Number one, anger is not inherently bad. While anger pits in the stomach, the emotion itself is not inherently bad. Men, women, and children experience anger differently. Where areas, children most often feel anger from the perspective of frustration. They can't have what they want when they want it. Adults get angry when they feel out of control. Anger itself isn't a bad or even a dangerous thing, but it always needs consideration, consultation, and solutions. As with any emotion, understanding why it is felt is the first step to repeating its benefits. So think about it. Number two, anger is an emotion with psychological effects, meaning we all understand that the feeling of rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, and burning stomachs, as our muscles tighten and we feel anger. The fight or flight system engages as we decide how to best deal with our anger. So expressing your anger is always the best thing for you in a positive way, like through sports, um, through uh motivation, you know, just something aspiring, something that motivates you. So, yeah. When anger feeds off itself, your release of anger causes you more damage. Be wary of the cycle that wrecks havoc on your nervous system. So be careful which vein you pop. You know, yeah, be careful when you're angry, just be careful. Think before you do take action. Number three, one benefit of anger is motivation. Like I said earlier, motivation is the best thing for anger. When we feel that emotion that riles up, we also feel motivated. At first, knowing how best to act is is difficult, it really is. But in time, the emotion of anger can drive us to create something innovative to solve a problem. While we can all relate to anger as a result of injustice or pain, like when a lover cheats or a boss promotes another worker, we don't always realize that stress and taking on too much can cause angry outbursts. The body and mind sometimes works together to tell us we need to cut back at work or find more time to relax. Motivation or motivating ourselves to enjoy life more and stress less is one of the best benefits of anger. Like I said before, walk away from it, it's not even worth it. Let him if they mad, that's that's on them. What can you do? Right? What can you do? Because you don't want to fall into that dark pit. Like, that's on you, man. Whatever you want to do, whatever whatever you want, like let him or her just deal with themselves. You just walk away from the problem. Number four, human can defuse anger. Humor correct. Realizing that life is stressful is only the first step. Actually, the realization is more like lacing up with the shoes, then even taking that first step. The first step that comes from the understanding that anger is an emotional, that men and women feel differently. And anger does not have to control us. The simple act of laughing act angry, it can all be diffused. So the simple act of laughing at anger can be diffused. For example, comedy, right? It's not serious. Come on, it's just a it's just a joke. Learn how to take it in. In an argument, one person can defeat the mounting anger with a joke. I mean, I wouldn't wreck I wouldn't recommend a stand-up comedy act to defuse a dangerous hostage situation, but when your coworker can't agree on project trying to defuse a situation with office antiques antics, you know, you can help everyone get focused or confused, it doesn't matter, but pop a joke sometime, you know, just laugh. It's okay to laugh and be like, ah, I don't even know why I was mad, right? I don't even know why I was mad. Forget about it. Number five, uncontrolled anger and angry outbursts are like are linked to stroke and heart attack. So, like I said, being angry caught can cause a lot of health problems, a lot of health problems, and I named mole. So, many people, when they're very, very angry, immensely angry, they turn into you know drugs, alcohol, they abuse, all that, smoking, poor diet, and lack of exercise, and all that can affect your health, and that all comes with the effects of anger, putting you at risk, at increased, increased risk for cardiovascular events, diseases, strokes, heart attack, all the health complications I've named. Number six. People are not always the triggers of anger. When our environment causes stress and frustrations, we experience anger just as we experience anger with people who cause stress and frustration. People are not always the trigger unless they are the drivers of unclogged highways contributing to road rage. Noise pollutions such as one living in construction zone would hear triggers anger, and sometimes we don't even realize it. So if some type of noise pisses you off, you're onto some, which is anger. If you find yourself getting angry and you're not sure why, listen to your environment and recognize whether or not you get enough space peace and space and quiet. Rushing around after kids or running from you know meeting to meeting in the corporate world can leave you stressed and angry. It can. If you had a hard day, long day at work, you understand why you frustrated or angry or stressed out. In this condition, you aren't angry with anyone, but your environment is making you angry. Number seven, a plan for relaxation can come back, can can combat angry. It can, it really can. So if you really focus on relaxation and calming down, then you can definitely get the help you need by relaxing. An attempt to benefit from anger, you should plan to relax on a regular basis. Take time all for yourself, you know. Self-care. Along with eating well and exercising, planning time to relax by taking the kids to the park or enjoying the show with a friend can combat anger. We plan as much as we can for work we can for our families and for our futures, our friends. But when we forget to plan, to relax, we give rise to anger. Number eight, when you feel the anger emotion, something needs examination. Again, anger itself is not a bad thing. The motivating power of anger can act as of as an incentive, it can to release pent-up aggression at the gym or in sports or in a match or in a video game match, anything, in board games. When we first feel that anger, we need to examine it and understand its origin, where it came from. What does the emotion mean? Are we distressful or of our partners? Are we? Does our body need to relax or release tension and stress? Ask yourself these questions. Okay? Number nine. Aggression is anger in action. Feeling the anger and choosing to take deep breath or choosing to verbally assault a cheating lover is the difference between anger as an emotion and anger in action. Aggression is the one we act on our anger, and aggression can lead us to jail. Men often feel like showing anger in public or in the workplace is a sign of weakness. Hiding feelings of anger can cause outbursts at home in these situations, except when you feel angry and try to understand its roots, know the origin where it came from. Number 10. Anger teaches us about our ability to cope. We all experience anger from time to time, and even when we repeatedly feel frustrated and terrible or irritated, our feelings may not indicate anything abnormal. Anger teaches us about the ability to cope because we can easily and objectively look at ourselves and answer a few questions. Am I feeling angry? Sometimes we feel pressured or rushed, and that leads us to anger. Solving the underlying problem in this situation means planning and being more organized. It's all about control. Alright folks. Um We just uh covered the most important topic of the past few weeks. And believe me, we've all been through the situation. We all have. But what can you do? You wanna walk away from it? You wanna solve the situation? Or you wanna be aggressive? Me, what I recommend is just walking away from it. You know, hey, I'm gonna go for a walk, I'm gonna go for a drive, I'm gonna go do something that makes me happy, I'm gonna go figure things out, then we can talk later on. That's the best thing to do. Just walk away from it. It's not it's not worth it. A confrontation is not worth it. An aggressive argument is not worth it, it's not. If you're angry, and if you do need anger management, please go to a professional. I am not a doctor, I'm not a therapist, I'm not a physical or psychic psychological therapist, I am not any of those idols. I'm not. I am just spreading the message that it's important to get professional help. And for those who envy you, who hate you, out of hatred and out of jealousy, you know, move forward. Ignore them. That's in the past. You know, dust that dirt off your shoulder, that's all, and walk away. That's the best advice I'm gonna give you guys is walk away, find a solution or walk away from it. And if that other person is not becoming willing to become a bigger person, then that's on them in maturity. Be the bigger one, be the bigger person, and be mature, walk away from that situation. Because personally, we've all been there, and it's not fun. We are live here in Salt Lake City, Utah, and I just want to say thank you to the 801. We are on the map, baby. We are on the map, and uh, for those who have been supporting us since we started, thank you so much for being here and still continue to be here and still tuning in. I really appreciate that. Also, um, if you do need some professional help, I have some resources in the links down below. So go ahead and click on those if you need some resources on anger management. And for those who want some merchandise, yes, our store is available, so there is a link behind um beneath us as well. So go ahead and you know, click on those links and grab you some merchandise or get the resources and the help that you need. But yeah, thank you all for tuning in. I really appreciate your time and I really appreciate the support. You have all been great to us and been good to us. You know how we do, but um, yeah, I really appreciate you all. Thank you so much, and I hope that you all learn how to you know figure out ways to solve situations and problems. But if you all if if if anybody ever needs professional help, um please reach out, hit those resources below, hit the links, and just uh see what you can uh get. But as far as that, if you do want to reach out and talk to us and my me or my staff here, call us at age um no, hold up 385. That's our other number. 385-202-3620. Again, 385-202-3620. Reach out here, call us at our office, we will answer each and every single questions you have, and um, yeah, we really appreciate the time and the support you've all been giving us. And soon we will be on YouTube doing live videos, having some live guests. Um, production is still in the works, but we will be there soon, and we are we can't we're excited, we can't wait. But as far as I know, thank you all so much. I hope you all have a wonderful morning, wonderful afternoon, wonderful evening, and wonderful night with your friends, family, whoever. Thank you. Have a great day.